1.29.2010

Time is FLYING!!!

It feels like time is flying. There is less than 7 months left in my service, which I realize sounds like a long time, but between travelling, goodbyes, and all the frills and thrills of COS, I know that these next few months will fly. This realization paired with the knowledge that some people in my group are going home even sooner has led the volunteers in my area to speculation of our lives at home. They say that culture shock is twice as bad when it is in your own country, and I must agree.

My life here has been an intense and exciting trip into the unknown, but it has also been incredible to behold. I’ve changed so many parts of my life and have found a niche in my village. I know how to get around without anything besides bargaining power and am beginning to function as an adult (this is aided in part by the many example adults I have as friends). However, I do not quite know how to be an adult in a non-Southeast Asian country. This was not part of the instruction I have received from my Peace Corps experience.

First Example:

When I shop for anything, from clothing to toothpaste to travel to groceries, I bargain. They charge me more because my white skin shimmers with dollar signs and my scratchy Khmer reminds them of the ring of a cash register (if in fact they had cash registers… they usually just have fanny packs or baskets full of crumpled bills). If I can’t get them down to a price that I find acceptable, I walk away until they call me back and allow me to pay my (fairer) price. The walk-away works particularly well with tuk-tuk drivers and grocery sellers; in this country they are the opposite of few and far between.

I can see myself in Wal-Mart now… After I’ve stood in the doorway gawking at the high ceilings and praising the weather controller, said hello to whoever was at the door, and stared at a few of the customers in concern, I’ll wander back to the ‘fresh’ foods and try to find something familiar.

“Ma’am, how much is this?”

I’ll say, because just last week, when my students asked me what the words ‘price tag’ meant, I remembered that I haven’t seen one in almost two years. She’ll no doubt look at me with disgust, turn to show me the back of the blue vest, and throw a, “look at the price tag,” over her shoulder. I will, then, look at the price tag…

“$5.00 for bananas??!!??!?! That’s outrageous! Would you take $2.50?”

At this point, I’m sure I’ll be looking at the blur that used to be the saleswoman, as she flees in fear from the out of control girl in the grocery aisle. Perhaps I’ll take my small bunch of (not very good) bananas to the counter and ask the cashier to accept my discount.

“Coupon?”

“No.”

Sale?”

“Umm…”

“That’ll be $5.00.”

“That’s crazy! You sure you won’t take $2.50? If you don’t, I’m gonna walk away. I will!”

“…”

“Okay, I’m walking away… This is me walking away… I’m going to another seller…”

“…”

“Do you have change for a 10?”

Second Example:

Restaurants here in Cambodia have different rules than those back in America. Every morning, I have a delicious breakfast consisting of coffee and noodle soup (guey tio), in which I dump some chili sauce, pepper, lime, and sugar. In this tiny little restaurant, I am always the only foreigner (I can count on one hand the number of times this wasn’t true). I am also usually the only woman. Here in Cambodia, morning coffee is male bonding time. Other times include lunchtime muscle wine, afternoon Johnny Walker, and evening rice wine. Or anytime cigarettes, for that matter. Sometimes, a patron brings his wife or child, and this person sits quiet and awkward for the entire meal. Well, now that I think about it, meals aren’t really used for conversation as they are in Cambodia. They are used for excessive littering, mouth noise-making, and all manner of rude behavior involving the wait staff.

I can just see myself in Applebee’s…

“Heeyyyy!!!! Food!”

“Yes, miss, can I take your order?”

“[grunt] salad [grunt] coke.”

“Sorry, miss? What was that?”

“[grunt] SALAD [grunt] COKE!”

“Miss, you’re gonna need to be a little more specific.”

“RICE! ARGH!”

This will present something of a problem for me. I also expect in this little outing that I will do one of the following things:

1. Throw something I consider trash on the floor.

2. Yell across the restaurant at the waiter with one lengthy syllable.

3. Slurp or otherwise make a mess.

4. Wipe everything on the table down with a paper napkin, then proceed to throw that napkin on the floor.

5. Sit on the table.

6. Eat the second the food arrives at the table.

7. Use something at the table (perhaps a toothpick) to perform some form of personal hygiene.

8. Say the word ‘delicious’ more times than necessary.

Third Example:

My life here is fraught with attention. Children are either too scared to say something to me or much too brave to say anything normally. They will either shy away from me or yell in my face. There is very little middle ground. I receive an average of 3-6 ‘hello!’s every time I leave the house. This is possibly why I do not leave the house remarkably often. The ‘hello!’s are not limited to children, though. Far from it! With the women, it is usually supplemented with a “srai sa’at,” or “pretty girl” along with some tongue clucking. With the men, it is usually accompanied with some kissing or grunting noises and again, “srai sa’at,” though you can use your imagination to consider the differences in tones between the genders. In fact, perhaps I will break it down for you a little more clearly.

For a child:

“Hello!” means “Holy crap! A white person!! Is she the ghost that my mom keeps telling me about?!” (or) “A foreigner! I’ve never seen anything that tall and fat and pale before!”

For a teenage girl:

“How much skin whitening cream will I need to buy to get skin that color?”

For an adult woman:

“Wow, I wish my skin was that color!” (or) “A girl by herself? What a shame to her family she must be!” (or) “Why does she have so much hair on her arms? Why is her hair so curly? I wonder if she’s married. I wonder if she’s with a Khmer man… How old could she be? She looks too old to be single. When will she get married? (The train of thought doesn’t stop here…)”

For an adult man:

“Daaaammmmnnnnnn!! (The rest is censored… I want to keep this PG).”

I’m sure that walking down the street and being the same color as the majority of the population will be a bit difficult at first. After all, I’ve gotten used to being a celebrity in my little village. I’ve even had to turn away photographers (and that was very unpleasant… a stranger on a moto pulled up to me one day, rather pulled up into my path to stop me, and shoved his phone in my face. It didn’t end well.)

Well, that’s all for now. There are some things that I am looking forward to, I must say. For one, I’m looking forward to ovens not being a rare sight. All appliances, really. Washing machines are in my dreams… TV that doesn’t involve soap operas from across Asia… Dairy products… Something other than ‘hotter than hell’… Libraries… Lots.

1.08.2010

Asian Mickey Dees


Bangkok. Christmas. Awesome.
At Mickey Dees in Asia, Ron welcomes you as everyone else does :)
Also, the Subway had a great sign in Thai that talked about how to order your sub... What a place this Bangkok is!